


Planet of the Men

by pr_squared



Category: Planet of the Apes (Movies 1968-1973)
Genre: Gen, Non-Human Humanoid Society, meat paradox
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23234995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pr_squared/pseuds/pr_squared
Summary: Aelia and Caeso sit down with their friends for dinner after the hunt
Relationships: Aelia - Relationship
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes stories demand to be written

Aelia and Caeso sat down for dinner with Cestia and Ateius, Messalina and Julius, and Marcia and Vipsanius, all chimpanzees. Aelia set a lovely table. Marcia helped her in the kitchen. 

Aelia and Marcia emerged from the kitchen carrying small plates bearing artful constructions of a thin cut of fried ‘forest oysters,’ topped with a slice of green olive and resting on a half hard-boiled egg, all on a bed of lettuce.

“A squeeze of lemon,” Aelia suggested as she passed out the appetizers.

Cestia was hungry. “Haven’t had a bite since lunch.” 

“Delicious!” Ateius declared after his first bite.

“Yes, delicious,” Vipsanius agreed as he savored the symphony of flavors and textures. “Just what is it?” 

“Forest oysters,” Aelia half-explained with a smile.

Vipsanius lifted another forkful to his mouth.

Julius swallowed his mouthful and thought for a moment. “Oysters live in the ocean, right?”

“Forest oysters,” Aelia repeated herself. “These ‘oysters’ come from the forest.” The apesses looked at each other and smiled. They looked at their apes. “Forest oysters – jack testicles,” Aelia explained. The apes squirmed uncomfortably in their seats and showed their obvious discomfort.

“Delicious for all that!” Cestia declared.

Salad course came next.

Two platters held potatoes and asparagus. A gravy boat offered loganberry sauce. 

Caeso came in from the grill with four tenderloins on a platter, two larger and two smaller, seared perfectly. “Those two,” he pointed to the two larger ones, “are from Quintus’ jack. These two,” he pointed to the two smaller ones, “are from my jill. Can you taste a difference?” 

He carved the roasts. The meat was seared a deep brown on the outside and was delicately pink on the inside. The guests held up their plates eagerly.

“Which is which again?” Messalina asked.

Caeso pointed. “The jack and the jill.”

Messalina cut a sliver of the jack and brought it to her mouth with her fork. “So different than Tutulius’ market.”

Aelia nodded. “Tutulius’ jacques is ranch reared, confined in tiny pens, and fattened on highly processed feed. We’re enjoying free-range man with a totally natural diet.” She said nothing about the maggots and grubs that men so relished.

“This is similar but has a milder taste,” Messalina announced after she had sampled the jill. “Both are exquisite.”

“On a ranch, jacks are castrated. They are more tractable and gain weight faster. Some just don't like the taste of a mature male.” Caeso explained.

“Some do!” Aelia was quick to add. “Seconds – a slice of each. We have loganberry sauce, if you like.”

“So tender! You’d think game would be tougher.” Cestia offered as she ate with gusto.

Julius studied his plate doubtfully, then ventured a taste. “Umami, but not at all gamey, just delicious.” Julius concluded.

“That was the jill. Try the jack,” Caeso urged. “From the time he’s in your sites until he’s on your table, you have to take good care of your man. Drop him cleanly – no belly shots. Bleed and gut him, then cool him down promptly. Skin him and hang him in the cooler for two full days before you butcher him. Let the meat stretch on the bone, more tender that way.”

“Seconds, anyone? Potatoes? Asparagus?” Aelia interrupted. Few wanted to dwell on the unpleasant details. They should just enjoy their dinners. “I have bananas flambe for dessert.” Chimpanzees always loved bananas.

“Did you see the new movie?” Aetius asked.

Julius thought. “Which one?”

“Planet of the Men.” Aetius continued. “Imagine a world where men are intelligent and apes mere animals. Men wear clothes and apes run around stark naked.

“Ridiculous!” Messalina shook her head doubtfully, apes and their science fiction. Now a good romantic comedy. That was something! 

“Bet there’re more naked apesses than apes! And all the apes’ naughty bits are somehow artfully obscured.” Marcia scoffed.

“Men talk and apes are mute,” Aetius ignored her and continued.

Vipsanius watched 'his' Marcia talk and smiled to imagine her mute. He failed and shook his head.

“They say the apes are vegetarians!”

Everyone laughed. 

Cestia lifted her plate. “More roast, please. Just a little.” 

“Jack or jill?” Caeso asked. 

“A bit of each.”


	2. Timmy

Cestia and Aetius arrived home late. Aetius put Caeso’s gifts in the freezer. Aelia had labelled and dated each package. 

Cestia saw to her Timmy in his crate. He was happy to see her, as always, and eager to get out. Did he like her truly or did he just expect to be fed? 

She reached down and clipped a lead to his collar. He was fully grown toy, the top of his head nearly reached her waist. He was a mid-sized, totally hairless variety, guaranteed not to shed. It was hard to believe that he was the same species as the meat men wallowing in their pens. She tried to imagine him trying to cover one of the large dairy jills, even one secured on the breeding stand. She smiled to think how they terrified him when he saw them. He needn’t worry because she would keep him safe. She took him outside to do his necessary business and looked away with mild distaste when he performed. 

She brought him back inside and put food in his bowl. She topped it off with a few scraps from Aelia’s dinner. He ate eagerly, as always.

Cestia sat down in her favorite chair and watched him eat. She must be certain that he didn’t get too fat. She had seen others with their obese men. She chuckled to imagine an otherwise stylishly dressed apess leading her chubby man, waddling down the street after her. It was animal abuse, really! Cestia sat back, retrieved her book, and started to read. Several quiet minutes passed.

Timmy finished his dinner and walked over and sat at her feet.

Cestia felt his warm bare back against her leg. By habit, she reached down and stroked him gently behind his ears.

Timmy sighed and Cestia smiled and kept reading. She savored the peace and quiet. Timmy gave her much pleasure. She rubbed the back of his neck and he arched his back, savoring her touch. 

Timmy turned his head. He pressed his lips against the outside of her thigh. She ignored him and read, though his wet tongue moistened the leg of her trousers. Suddenly, he grabbed her leg with both arms and humped her leg vigorously.

Now Cestia looked up from her reading and saw the desperate frenzy on his man face. She shook her leg and shoved him away. Timmy took a step back and threw himself back on her leg. Cestia pushed him away again. “No Timmy, no!” She raised her hand in a threatening manner. Defeated, Timmy retreated into a corner and laid down.

Cestia looked at him and shook her head. She should have bought a female but a jill had to be spayed or else she bled and that was messy. Well, Messalina had warned her. She should have fixed Timmy sooner!


End file.
